And so, I left Beirut (again), one day…
My experiment as a returnee failed miserably. You need A LOT of self motivation and positivity to survive in a place like Post War Lebanon – unfortunately.
I have much better feelings towards Lebanon when I am away.
I love it more, I am more proud of it, I defend it when someone speaks ill of it, I am able to read more about it and tolerate it, all these things are way easier to do when I am outside the country. Most Lebanese people with dual nationalities, or who don’t reside in Lebanon full time, have similar sentiments.
As I progress in editing my film and the theme of home keeps popping up, the concept and definition of “country” fades away.
We grow up repeating slogans such as “My Country is more precious than My Life”. But I feel that our countries are not more precious than our lives. Countries are man made.
And then again, back to the initial thought, what defines our countries? Google Maps? The signs at the entrances and exits of our cities? The place where our families live(d) or descended from? I ask these questions about belonging to the country while most Lebanese people embrace and sacrifice their lives for belonging to more limited entities – the village, the tribe, the sect, the religion, the party, the elite… the ZEFT.
And we’ve been conditioned to believe that life is worth one of these things -except for the Zeft; which comes free every election season or another –if elections do take place.
The first step into growing beyond our fanaticism and narrow mindedness is to strip naked from these attachments. They are a major obstacle that prevents us from moving forward with our revolution against corruption and political sectarianism.